Dear Diary,
Woaaagh!
Am I fat? What is it with these wooden block chairs...
every time I sit on one it just smashes up and I
am back on my tush. Mum is getting slimmer and slimmer,
but I must be getting fatter and fatter. Maybe
somebody is oiling the blocks....
On another note, all this is giving me plenty of practice
for the opera... I've got a sopranic shriek that
regularly gets attention. Teddy is copying it but
he just isn't in the same league of glass-shattering,
attention-getting dissonance. Also, I reckon he lacks the dramatic
flair you need to really keep your audience.
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