Letter To Amelia

This page written circa 3 July, 2000.

In my soapbox of May 4, I wrote in anger, and to record what happened, but in all honesty I intended no hurt. What I should have written were simply words of support. Out of respect for Amelia's feelings, I have restricted access to that file.

I have always had a very adult conversational relationship with Amelia, and I sometimes forget that she has the needs and feelings of a teenager. I knew, and I said, that the incident that made me angry occurred because "Amelia feels frustrated, angry, and cheated because she has never had the benefit of a father living with her, doing all the sorts of things fathers are supposed to do with their children". I am profoundly sorry that this is the case, and that I am not able to anything about it. Realising all this, I should not have let this make me angry. I think of Amelia as being sure of herself and sure of my love and respect for her, and well able to deal with whatever I may say.

I also happen to think that Amelia is clever, beautiful (the picture of her on my desk and the one used as my screen wallpaper at work attract comments that confirm this), has a sharp sense of humour, and makes a fabulous elder sister. It saddens me that I cannot make her believe that I think of her like this.

I should be one of the people Amelia comes to when things do not look so good, not one of the people telling her that they are not good. I am sorry Amelia if I hurt you, I love you.

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